It started well over a year ago. It was becoming trendy to deactivate Facebook accounts so that you could have more quality time with your family. As if "quality time" could even be described as trendy. I read dozens of blogs of women who were laying aside their smart phones and tablets and laptops and trading them in for finger paints and Dr. Seuss books and meaningful conversations with their children.
And as I read the thoughts from these women, I told myself over and over that I would never give a lifeless smartphone priority over my children. That if these women were worth their weight in salt, they would be able to balance life; children and technology and household duties and all the miscellany that comes with it. Then, last week I read a post from a friend. (Actually, she was my high school choir teacher, but I swear the woman is only about 30 seconds older than I am.) Anyway, I read her post. And it echoed what I'd read a hundred times before. I thought maybe it deserved some credence, so I started evaluating my time on my prized smartphone. And I was sorely disappointed in myself.
You see, I bought my smartphone the week before my daughter had open-heart surgery, under the pretense that I could "easily communicate her health status with everyone." So when she was in the hospital, I emailed and texted and posted updates. Then, to occupy my time, I'd download an app here and there...music and games and magazines. Two years later, that smartphone is rarely more than 15 feet away from me. A few days ago, Daughter got ahold of my phone and entered an incorrect passcode over and over again, disabling the phone for 15 minutes. When I realized what she'd done, I about went into cardiac arrest because I couldn't imagine functioning for 15 minutes without my beloved iPhone 4S. It was then that I decided to stop.
Am I going to stop texting or posting on Facebook or chatting with friends? No. But I am going to stop overlooking my children and my life all in the name of time-sucking technology. Today was Day 1. The reward became beautifully evident at about 3:00 this afternoon. Daughter has been a little sniffly, which equals a clingy toddler. For her afternoon nap, she wanted to sleep in my bed. I put her in bed, but that wasn't enough. She wanted me to lie down next to her. So I scooped up Son as well, and we all snuggled in. Before I knew it, we were all asleep. I woke up before Son and Daughter. I looked over at the gorgeous boy and girl who I'd given birth to, and was overcome with.... the desire to grab my smartphone. (What did you think I was gonna say?) Yes, the first thing I wanted to do was take a picture of those beautiful sleeping babies and post it to Instagram (with a filter that would add appropriate dramatic effect) and Facebook so that my 300-ish friends and followers could witness how idyllic my life was at that exact moment. But I withstood the urge to grab the time-sucking piece of metal and plastic. Instead, I just stared at my babies as they slept. It wasn't anything exciting. I actually really had to pee, and my arm was asleep, and I needed to blow my nose, and Son was lying too close to me and was making me sweat. But I stayed still and watched them, and now that afternoon can never be replaced.
There are no pictures of sleeping babies. There's no post that will collect 21 "likes" and 7 comments with smiley faces and hearts. But there is the magnificent reality that I got to spend uninterrupted time with my babies. And when they're old enough to actually remember these afternoons, they'll remember a Momma who was delighted to love her family well, not an unfamiliar woman who was consumed with "life" on the other side of a touchscreen.
